what if your life is just a movie and billions of people in another dimension are watching it right now
they’re begging for a refund.
at least the soundtrack is awesome.
the fact that women’s healthcare seems to be a joke among men is sickening.
lance armstrong loses a testicle and everyone’s like “oh man must have been so hard for him poor guy losing his manhood LIVESTRONG” and angelina jolie gets the jokes after her mother died from cancer and she’s trying to protect herself????
do you ever feel like there’s barely anyone in your city that listens to the same music you do but when you go to a concert you’re just like “where the fuck have you all been”
(Source: catmoobs)
If you ever see me with a shirt on of a show, movie or whatever on it that you love too
you have the right to sit your ass down in front of me and start talking
my public representation of my fandoms is an invitation to come and talk to me about it
(Source: mccoymedical)
when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
Floppy piece of flesh….. Incorrect
HOW IS THAT INCORRECT WHAT THE FUKC ELSE IS THAT
Tom… your Loki is showing x
(Source: mishasteaparty)
- (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
- Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
- Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
- Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
- Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
- (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
look what we have here
i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
Try to seduce me in 7 words or less.
I have Sherlock Season 3.
HHHHHHHHHHHHH GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW
(Source: shield-of-an-oaken-branch)
how am i supposed to concentrate in science when whENEVER I LOOK TO THE LEFT I SEE THIS
AT LEAST YOU DON”T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS
AT LEAST YOU DONT HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO THIS
what
(Source: madturbating)
those black girls who wear 74027 things of jewelry so they sound like a walking maracca
ah yes, those black girls that do that. the girls that do that that are black. thank you for specifying the race of the girls that wear the jewelery. the black ones
Someone making a white girls joke:
Someone making a black girls joke:
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
if you’re ever feeling lazy just remember that the ancient greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill but no one even bothered to check
